Tag Archive - confess

Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite…

I wear masks on many things in my life.

  • I often struggle with lusts, but struggle to admit it to people close to me.
  • I often struggle to maintain my temper, and tend to loose it for the smallest things.
  • I often struggle to show thanksgiving.

These are just some of the things in my life that is easier to keep behind a mask, than to actually speak out about them, and tell the people close to me about.

This affect my closeness to God.

I sometimes feel really far from God, but then I need to be ‘holy’ because I have to be part of the worship team, or need to counsel someone.

In Jesus’ ministry, He was harshest on the hypocrites, which gives one the idea that He HATES hypocrites.

He gives us unconditional love, and forgives all our sins, and yet we still choose to put on masks to our brothers and sisters, because we just do not want to let our junk out in the open.

I have, however, come to realize lately that when you let some of these things out in the open, there is a huge burden that gets lifted from your shoulders.

We need to get these things out in the open, and let our brothers and sisters feel safe to let their junk out in the open to us. Doing this, we will slowly but surely start to create a loving, forgiving, safe community where we are free to let our dirty laundry air…

That feeling of helplessness

So, last night we had a bit of a long night with BabyGirl that would be crying every other hour. And not just crying, but you can really hear that something is hurting somewhere. All would be allright, if she was able to tell or show you where what is hurting, but alas, she is only starting to learn some word at this stage in her life, and through all the crying, she is unable to show you what is hurting.

At 3 in the morning, this is moments of nightmares for me. I hate it to feel helpless. To be standing next to her cot, trying to console her in some way, whichever way possible, just so that she can get a good nights rest, as well as me.

Sitting here, I was just thinking how God, our Father, must feel sometimes, when we are crying, unable to hear His voice, and unable to help ourselves? How do you get back to that point where you can just keep quite, and listen. God always has an answer, not like us, that sometimes simply don’t have a clue. But the fact that God has the answer, means nothing if we can’t hear what God wants to tell us.

My way of getting to that place of quite again varies quite a bit, depending on the place I am, as well as the situations in my life, but more often that not, it help me to just sit down and PRAY! Just confess, and talk. It sometimes feels for me like I am babbling at God, but I know that He doesn’t care. He just loves to hear what we have to say and ask, and more often than not, He will give you the answers that you are looking for. Maybe not right away, but they will come.

May I just get to that point, when I am feeling helpless in helping my own child. To just take a moment, get silent, and focus on God, and let God do the helping in that situation, and not try to do it on my own.

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